Sunflowers N Sunshine

Thursday, April 14, 2005

why is it that every time you hope for something so much it never happens? and no matter how well planned it is or how u have spent days working harder and being stronger just so that you would be prepared and would not have to worry for that few days it all ends up being screwed up. i am so annoyed. so irritated.just so damn pissed off. i dont even know whether to cry or scream.like i hate it. i am told that sometimes good things dont come by easy and in that way u actually learn to treasure it more. yes i understand. totally but why is it that it always has to be so difficult when it comes to what i really want.i somehow never get what i really want. and in a way it is ok because i hardly ever fight hard enough but i was willing this time. i was so looking forward to it. how much more do you actually want me to want this and actually look forward to it like a lil girl looking forward to going to the zoo or buying pretty pink dresses. i appreciate it enough. i know how valuable it is.trust me. whenever this happens it has to be difficult and this very time i was so happy because i actually proposed a different idea but then u brought it forward. u made me expect.and i hate expecting becoz i hardly ever get what i want. and i want this so bad! maybe i am being a brat becoz i will get it eventually but i want it now now now.pls! argh i am just so annoyed right now i can hardly think. i wanna bring a piece of home here. a part of me that i know so very well. i miss you.

because i said so! Nadz at
3:08 PM