Sunflowers N Sunshine

Friday, March 24, 2006

it's not easy to forgive and forget. and frankly, i don't have to. times when i don't think about it, i get along fine. but then there are times when i just drift off asking myself questions after questions. worst bit is that i aint the one with the answers. it's you. and you know it. i get so angry not because i hate you but because no matter how i try to see things, i just dont understand how or why things turned out the way it did. i'm not even sure how to explain how i feel about the whole thing. i mean i cant put it in words. but if one would like to picture it, it's somewhat like the episode of The O.C. where Marissa just screams hysterically. (and no, i am not trying to be funny or what not) webs of conversations and everyone knowing bits and pieces about the whole thing. some just rather not say. i try very hard at times to put together the jigsaw puzzle but i have yet to see a clear picture. it frustrates me. i don't think i'll ever see the picture whole. well, at least not till i hear it from you. yet we choose to pretend like everything is alright. and it's all superficial. afterall, it is the easier way out ain't it? so tell me again why i should go along with your silly games and pretend like this whole thing did not happen? i should just be my nice lil self and let this slide? because although i may not show it, it did hit me hard. so i'm thinking, why should i regard you as i used to? omg i dont even know who you take me to be anymore. or for that matter who you took me to be before. i've known that there was stuff going around for some time. but i never really bothered because i believe that you can never really stop the whole world from talking. but i never thought you would. i mean you dont do such things to people you say love do you? i mean people you claim you care about. so who do we really have? like really really have. the ones whom you can fall on and trust completely. times when you think you know who these special ones are, a twist of events changes everything. i must say though, that there are the constants among the changes. and i thank God for them.

because i said so! Nadz at
7:24 AM